Now that I am married, it seems like my whole life is in renewal; and it feels that the more I resist this change, the more painful the process becomes. I wonder if this is what a butterfly goes through, and is the chrysalis just a beautiful torture chamber? Being someone who likes to maintain a constant state of complete control over every aspect of my life, on a visceral level this kind of chaos nauseates me, and in the past the anxiety that would result would make me go a little crazy!
Over time, however, I have learned to let the universe take the wheel and enjoy the ride (and hope that my eventual destination is the one I intended/desired). People that I thought were like family and would be friends for life are simply people in my life. While that is a bitter pill to swallow, nonetheless having a great husband seems to make anything more palatable, so it's going down. I guess getting married put it all into proper perspective. The most important person in my life is my husband, everything else is at best a distraction and at worst a disappointment. I see now why I would always lose friends when they got married. The universe forces you to change everything (even in the Khaluaverse).
My April Fools Day is over and now it’s existential tax time, so every single one of my friendships is going through an audit. I need a new social circle, one that supports me as a happily married woman. It’s called “growth,” and even though the growing pains may suck at first, inevitably the results they yield are for the better. We have a trip to Jamaica coming up in the next few weeks. I'm looking forward to this vacation because I only know 2 people going. It's the perfect opportunity to form new healthy relationships as a married couple. I feel it's very important in marriage to have friends that didn't know us apart.
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